Future: Help (08/07/09)

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"This is ridiculous."

"You decided to semi-retire but still you've worked like crazy... and I don't blame you, you want something to do." She paused.
"But the decisions you have to make and the way you are afterwards... they're not good for you. And I'm always the one handling these issues afterwards."

"And Null, lately you don't seem to know yourself at all."

Ever since that night he got back, he'd been in another world, absorbed in his own thoughts. It wasn't anything new, but he was more like a zombie this time.

"And then you go on a job secretly, not even telling Sebastian, and leaving us all worried sick."
" ..."
"I'm not sure if you care for those you leave behind at all."

Was he listening at all?

Her voice came out strict: "Sean."

"Do not call me that."

"Oh..." the woman slid down to sit next to him, "you were listening after all."

"Why can't you find something else to do? Or... at least talk to me about it?"
" ..."

This issue wasn't unsolvable, but he was making it one by shutting her out.

She turned away from him, "It didn't occur to you that I might be able to help, did it?"
Her emotions were surfacing slowly.

Fiddling with her ring, she spoke again;.
"How silly of me to think that things would change..." hurt was filling her voice.

She always said things she didn't really mean when she was either angry, or hurt. And sometimes it seemed to be the only way to get the man to respond to her truthfully.

"I'm thinking I should do what my instincts tell me to: walk away from this... with Camille."

A hand grabbed her wrist firmly: "No."

"No? You're saying that now? After this show of making it clear that you can't live this life. How many times have we been here?"

He set his head down on her shoulder slowly; "Sebille... you can't leave."

He held her hand with both of his. It wasn't forceful, it was more pleading.

"You can't... because I need you."

Sebille had thought he'd say different words, the ones with 'love' in them. She loved those words but they were so rare. After seven years of being together, the woman could still count the times he'd said them with the fingers in her hands.

But for now, these were just as good.

"Null..." she breathed out, her tone softening. " ...Is it enough?"

Could he ever live a regular life, or was he addicted to the pain, misery and excitement of his old one?

At first he was silent again, and then quiet words were spoken softly; " ...Help me."

The words struck her deep. She'd never thought the man would admit his weakness to anyone, even her. He was supposed to be the strong one that supported her when she was in peril.. but now the roles were reversed.

"That's what I'm here for..." she whispered.

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