Danger 03/03/08




Sebille had given up and signed the damn paper.


The feeling that she'd gotten the day before when she'd first seen the will still wasn't gone. Instead, it had just gotten stronger.


Null arrived. She didn't hear him, as that would've been impossible: he still made no sound when he walked. No, she saw him from the corner of her eye.


"You shower awfully long for a g--- ...uy."

Definitely not what she'd expected.


Not what she'd expected at all.

" ..."


Damn. And she was supposed to be mad at him -in addition to feeling anxious, of course.


"I signed the will... but I have a condition..."
"Hmm?"


"I never want to see it again. Ever."
" ..."
"If you can't promise me that much, I'll rip it into pieces right now.


" ...fine."

Okay, so she wouldn't see it again. Now, all she had to do was forget it ever existed in the first place. Pretend yesterday didn't happen at all. If she could do that, she might just be okay.


He probably didn't understand... but she didn't need him to.


"Wait! Stop."

What was that?


He'd just gotten to buttoning up she shirt and stopped.
"What?"


"Come closer..."

He took a few steps closer in silence.


She put her finger on the waistline of his pants.
"This... how have I missed this...?"


"It looks old..."

Null wasn't moving but she knew he was looking at her, and Sebille didn't dare to look up at him. More feelings boiled up inside her.


Her voice barely a whisper, she spoke:
"This is why I don't want to see it..."


"I'm not strong enough to handle this. I know you think I am but..."
" ..."
"I... I can't think about all this or it takes me over..."


"I never know if I'll ever see you again. Or whether it'll be the last time we'll ever talk... And if it is... then all I'll have left is that stupid piece of paper saying things that no longer mean a thing...!"

And now, more than anything, she was afraid that he'd do something rash.


He sat down on the bed. She knew he was still looking at her, but she avoided  his eyes. She didn't feel brave enough to face him.


Sebille wasn't sure what she should do now. She felt uncomfortable and almost nauseous.

He didn't want a weak girl that couldn't handle herself. He just couldn't afford a girl like that. She was so sure of it. And the more she thought about it, the more she felt like she wasn't... compatible. She'd just expressed her vulnerability to him, too.


She just felt like running away now and dropped her feet to the floor in  a single fluid motion.

Her thoughts were becoming a blur and the more she spoke and the more she thought, the further away Null seemed to be.


"I need to go."
She mumbled, and was already getting off the bed, ready to dash to the door....


...when he grabbed her arm.

The more she wanted to stay with him, the more afraid of losing him it made her.


"Don't... Not yet."

Those words. Just those three words were enough to yank her right back to this moment in this room with him.
" ..."


"I want you here."


She sighed in an attempt to relax herself and get her thoughts straight.

"You do, huh..."


She'd stayed strong until this day... so why couldn't she keep doing just that? Ups and downs were bound to happen but there was no reason she couldn't handle them... was there?


She'd finally reached a decision.


She would not let this be the last time she kissed him.

If she had to get him back by pulling him from the depths of hell, she would do it.


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