Prelude (14/07/08)




Sebille was facing a problem. It wasn't anything new to her, though; she had a lot of problems. Most were fleeting... and most were about Null.

Just like this one.


Null had been gone for so long again. He was away several nights, then one home and then gone again. It was constant and Sebille wasn't liking it one bit. Especially because he seemed to not be interested in anything when he actually was back.


Now he was home again, but wasn't really reacting to anything.


Sebille wasn't sure why that was this time. Maybe he didn't feel like seeing her right now, or perhaps he was resting. She could never quite tell.


Would she ever learn to understand him? To predict his next action? Sebille doubted it.

"Am I welcome here?"

No answer? Well, she'd take that as a 'yes'.


"Null?"


"Ah, you are awake."

Sebille wasn't sure what she'd expected, but this expression of his was definitely something she hadn't counted on seeing.


He was calm and not irritated in the slightest... but seemingly not too keen on her being in his room, either.
Sebille didn't know what to make of it but she wasn't about to leave now.

" ..."


"You've been away again. Are you okay?"
" ..."
"I thought you wanted to quit, and yet you're just working more..."


He sat up.

It was coming. He'd be irritated, he'd turn his head from her and avoid eye contact. Or he'd just be eerily calm and refuse to answer. All of those reactions made it uncomfortable for Sebille to be around him. Always.


!

Sebille wasn't too surprised about the fact that she was surprised.

She should've expected something unexpected; he was Null, after all.


He brushed his lips and his nose against her skin before pulling back enough to look into her eyes.
"I'm fine."

Suspicious. He never told her how he was, not even when she asked.

And while she suspected him of his reaction, she was happy to hear his voice. It was such a rare pleasure, and she loved it. That low, clear growl-like voice from deep within his chest.


"Can I be sure that you mean it?"


There. This was him turning his head from her. She knew it had been coming, but apparently she couldn't predict when.


"I know you don't like it but... it's kind of my job to worry."

His dephtless silver eyes turned back to her.


Sebille fiddled with Null's necklace to avoid the question in his eyes.

"Your work... it makes me afraid. And even more so when you're gone so much."
" ..."
"I don't really know anything about it and I know you're going to keep it that way. But I know just enough to worry."


"Don't..."

She wanted to trust in him. She wanted to be sure that he was skilled enough to survive anything. But there was really no way for Sebille to control her feelings. Especially after seeing him be hurt several times within one year.


"Do you think 'don't' is enough to make me stop worrying?"
" ..."

Sebille knew she'd just have to learn to live with what Null did. The strange thing was that she wasn't all that bothered by what it was that he did, but what could happen to him.

Maybe she was becoming corrupted and maybe it was wrong, but she didn't really care.
She loved him.


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