Danger (19/07/08)




What? He was still doing something work related?

Did he ever step back from it all and take some time to himself? She was sure that the times he stared into nothingness, he also thought of his job.


Sebille was getting frustrated.


Null was gone most of the time nowadays, and he seemed really tense when he was here.


And what was this armory? A sword and a gun... both looked rather antique-ish.


Sebille put down the headdress she'd been holding. She'd hoped to have Null help her put it on because it was being a pain and Fenrir wasn't around today. Null's hands were surprisingly soft and dexterous for their size.


She wasn't in the best of moods anymore. She could actually feel a huge wave of childishness approach.


"Null."

He didn't answer, nor did he lift his gaze from the papers.

God! He was so absorbed in it all.


Sebille had had it and took the papers from him...


...and threw them to the floor while Null just looked at her. There was surprise in his eyes, as this wasn't something Sebille had done before.
She'd tried very hard to respect those damn papers of his..


"What's with you? Can't you not think about your work all the time?"


" ..."


"Why? Why are you so absorbed in your work? I thought you wanted to stop. I thought you would eventually, but this is just getting worse. Why!?"

But Null didn't answer her.


And Sebille was in a wave of fury, not thinking of being fair or mature. She raised her arm, ready to give him a sting for being such an ignorant jerk.


But Null caught her hand in mid-air. He'd never stopped her before.


"Ahh!"


Sebille caught a glance of his silver eyes before she was yanked back...


...and onto the bed.


His hat fell off his head, his hair fell forward to border his face and the necklace he always wore fell down to point against Sebille's chest. How appropriate.


This was a position Sebille knew very well. And it didn't worry her, for Null wasn't holding her neck.

She still remembered the time he'd wrapped his long fingers around her neck and hadn't let go. Just the memory brought shivers down her spine.

"Why?"
His voice was deep and dark. But he also winced momentarily and something in Sebille's stomach bulged. once again.


He was hurt, wasn't he? And so badly that he couldn't completely hide it from her.

"I do this because I have to."


"I do what I'm not allowed to refuse. And I can't not do the hardest jobs they can muster for me."
Sebille gasped and spoke quietly; "They're trying to get you killed?"

Null's eyes were stone.
"I won't die."


Says he who keeps getting hurt more and more often.

She now knew where his injury was this time, she'd seen these movements of his before. She just hadn't realized what his subtle stiffness had meant until now.


Sebille pulled her knee up and pushed it against Null's lower stomach. He grunted but Sebille kept pushing.

She was aware of the fact that she could do this only because Null let her. He wouldn't budge even if he was mortally wounded, if he didn't want her to move.

But she wasn't really thinking of that right now and pushed until he was, in turn, on his back..


All sorts of emotions were dwelling inside of her and she wasn't sure which ones to let surface.

She was angry, and the was sad.

"Won't die!?"


She was also worried and irritated.

"You're not as invulnerable as you try to let me believe. You're hurt again. You keep getting hurt. And god knows when you'll be hurt so bad that you can't come back to me."

Man, she was so selfish wasn't she?


"And I never know where you are."

He was calm, so irritatingly calm that Sebille (almost) snapped.


She turned around, remembering the weapons on the table by his bed. She wasn't sure what she would do, but Sebille needed to do something.


She pulled the sword out of it's sheath, momentarily wondering what an odd-looking blade it had.  But her mind was too full of other things to care about some old sword right now.


She pressed it against Null's neck, and he was still the epitome of calm.

"Maybe... maybe I should just kill you here."
" ..."
"I wouldn't have to wonder where you are. I wouldn't have to worry. Worrying drives me crazy"

Yes... it would be so easy.


"Could you? Could you have my blood on your hands?"
"Yes. Stop doubting me!"


Yes... she could. She was perfectly capable of it.

But she didn't want to.


Sebille let the sword drop.
"I could..."


And bent down over him, pressing her forehead against his, closing her eyes tightly.

She didn't want tears.


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