Finally broken (25/01/09)



Sebille hadn't seen the men on their way out. Null had just brought her right out of the shabby building. In the car he had made a phone call, speaking in a quiet voice. Seb hadn't really listened since her mind hadn't quite worked yet, and she trusted him to take care of things. She wouldn't know where to even begin unraveling a situation like this.
 


Now, after a shower Sebille's head was finally beginning to clear. She had spent much longer in the bathroom than necessary and even dried her hair while she was at it. She knew Null would never enter without her asking him to.


She'd been nervous about facing him. She was both afraid and relieved. Afraid of what he thought of her right now and relieved that he had come.


And very much grateful.


She sat down on the bed and was surprised by how hard it was.

It was a road-side motel; she shouldn't have expected much in the first place.


"You didn't kill them, did you?"


"Not yet."
Sebille couldn't quite tell what his tone implied. It wasn't as calm as it usually was, but he didn't sound angered either.


"Please don't... at all. They're just a couple of losers."

Sebille was afraid that they'd do something again, but she was trying to be strong. Perhaps stronger than she could handle. She knew she would be paranoid for a while, but she still didn't want the two dead on her account.


"If there's anything else... no. Nevermind."

Asking him to do something else to them instead would be reckless of her. And selfish.


"I troubled you again..."
"Forget it."

She managed a forced smile.


What did he think of her now? She got kidnapped by a couple of idiots that could've been perfectly avoidable. And what did he think of Loupe for putting her in that situation, although it wasn't his fault.

She felt pathetic.


And she was about done with putting up a strong front. Two days of holding everything in and looking brave...
It was too much to bear.


She broke down, sobbing on his lap.

And he didn't push her away, although Sebille had half-expected him to. What good was she if she couldn't handle things like these?
Instead, he brought his hand to her hair and stroked softly.


All the fear and all the anxiety was coming out.

And Sebille felt truly safe for the first time in weeks.


She couldn't be any stronger, nor did she want to. She'd feel less human, if things like these didn't affect her. She hoped Null thought so too.


She didn't know how long she'd cried, nor what had gone on in Null's mind during the time, but her trembling was slowly coming to an end.


Her voice weak, she spoke; "I don't... want to go back home yet."

She'd just feel insecure, if she did. She'd rather regain her confidence before going home and to work again, than to stay in that large house and be paranoid of every little noise.


"Mm."

***


Sebille still wondered what Null's reasons for rescuing her were. Had Loupe asked him to, or had he wanted to come? Or was there another reason?

Sebille couldn't bring herself to ask him again, as he had ignored her the last time she did.



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