Heart to heart (25/04/09)




The sun was already high up in the sky when Sebille had finally found the energy to get up. But she still wasn't ready to get dressed or start the day.


She climbed on Nulls lap and his hands met with bare skin on her back. The man hadn't said a word the whole morning, although Sebille had attempted to start a conversation several times. Not that they ever had actual conversations, but at least he usually murmured something to answer her.


"I'm sorry" were his first words that day.

The way he said it did so much for Sebille but she hid it all from the man.


"If you mean for attempting to strangle me, then I accept your apology." Null didn't show any reaction, so she continued; "As for anything else you might be apologising for... I won't forgive you."


She looked at the man for a while before continuing; "You were acting ridiculous last night and I won't forgive you for thinking that you needed to do something... like that." she could't say it out loud anymore.


Bending down more, Sebille kept at it, "You barricaded yourself into your room," she exaggerated, "and wouldn't talk to anyone about it." That anyone being her. "I won't forgive you for it."


His hands on her back tensed up as he waited for her to get to the last part.


But Sebille wouldn't bring it up the way he wanted her to; "Other than that, you haven't done anything  you need to be apologizing for."


His hand slid down and grasped the blanket.

Null spoke from under his breath, "But I made you..."


"You didn't make me do anything. Did you hear me complain? Did you see me resisting?"
He observed her quietly, suspicion in his eyes.
"Null, for once you didn't treat me as if I was made of glass. I liked it. I'm fine."

She'd more than liked it. The way his touch had changed had been something she'd been waiting for a long time. There was nothing to complain about.

"It isn't the worlds most serious act, you know."


Today, though, the way his fingertips travelled along her skin was very much familiar. His lips were as soft as they'd alwayd been and he was in no hurry to get anywhere.

Getting back to normal was good, too. It made the woman smile.


She kissed his nose and was entertained by his semi-surprised reaction.


She brought her fingers to touch scarred skin carefully.

"There's only one thing I won't tolerate from a man, and that's beating a woman. No matter who it is that does it won't be forgiven. I'm out of second chances for men like that."

He stayed silent, but Sebille could feel the muscles in his hand tense up again.
"You haven't hit me, so... stop apologizing."


"But now... we really should get up." She turned  away from him hesitantly, blue eyes looking for her clothes that had been scattered all around the floor.
"It's looking like such a nice day outside."


But before she could separate herself from him, he moved his fingers swiftly to her neck. Sebille flinched before she could stop herself -yesterday was still in her mind.

His touch, however, was as careful and light as ever.


"I'm... sorry." He repeated.


"As long as it doesn't happen again... Though, I already told you that last time."

He was quiet and Sebille attempted to break the awkwardness; "I'll give you a good beating if you try it again." But her words were lacking in the effect she'd been trying to achieve.


He turned his head away, as Sebille's fingers moved through his; "You dont' want me to be afraid of you, do you?"

Sebille didn't think that was possible anyway.

"...No."


Now, the man sounded not only apologetic but sad as well.


"Can't we just forget about it?"

Each time Sebille remembered the event, she could feel his long fingers around her neck. The memory wasn't a pleasant one at all.



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