Why was it always like this when he visited?

It was like he wanted to leave as soon as he came in.

"Really, just stay a while. I'll go make us some tea."

The man walked around the bed, "No need for that."

And sat down.
"I guess I could stay a little while."

"Hey..." she leaned closer as he only now noticed something.

"You're wearing contacts again."

His eyes were brownish grey today and Hati knew it wasn't his real color.

The man turned his head away quickly. It was so obvious but he couldn't help it.

"Yeah... People kind of expect that of me."

This was dangerous. She looked so good in all white but he couldn't get close. Everything would get so complicated.

Really. What did she have to do to get what she wanted? She'd dropped the coy act, she'd gotten tired of waiting for him to wake up and she'd definitely grown sick of him avoiding her. She knew there was something between them, so why was he so ready to deny it each time?

It was time she did something he couldn't ignore.

"Hey, Hati--?"

Hati's heart was beating like crazy when she pulled her lips away. The woman was waiting for his reaction, not at all sure of what to expect.

But she hoped for the best.

This was one signal he could not misunderstand.

The man pulled his eyes away, "We can't."

He knew it had been dangerous to keep seeing her. But Hyun would never have thought that she would try to advance this fast all of a sudden.

Hati's eyes went wide as she slid off his lap; "What? But we just did."

"You're a nice girl, Hati."
"But?"
"No but."

"Then what's the problem?"

That's precisely the problem, he wanted to say, but was unable to.
How to explain it? He didn't know.

He stood up.

"I work for the same people as Null. I couldn't tell you anything about what I do and--"
"So what? I don't need to know."
"Yes, you do."

"We can't see eachother like that."

And that was not all. How could he live with lying to her. It had been fine until now; they weren't so close that she would need any inside information on what he did  or where he went. But if they were to date... how could he lie to her day after day?

He walked away.

Hati threw herself on the bed.

Why not? He was the one man she'd really been interested in in a long time. And if Sebille could live with a few secrets, why couldn't she?

He just wanted excuses.

...

"Oh , fuck it."

He walked back to the bed and set his knee down on it.

?

*****

 

What the hell was wrong with him?

Where had all his resistance gone?

He'd done so well until now.

The man sighed.

This was bad.

"Tell me..."

"Do you still think I'm a good girl?"

"I'm starting to doubt that.."