What? He was still doing
something work related?
Did he ever step back from it all and take some time to himself? She was
sure that the times he stared into nothingness, he also thought of his job.
|
Sebille was getting
frustrated.
|
Null was gone most of the
time nowadays, and he seemed really tense when he was here.
|
And what was this armory?
A sword and a gun... both looked rather antique-ish.
|
Sebille put down the
headdress she'd been holding. She'd hoped to have Null help her put it on
because it was being a pain and Fenrir wasn't around today. Null's hands
were surprisingly soft and dexterous for their size.
|
She wasn't in the best of
moods anymore. She could actually feel a huge wave of childishness approach.
|
"Null."
He didn't answer, nor did he lift his gaze from the papers.
God! He was so absorbed in it all.
|
Sebille had had it and
took the papers from him...
|
...and threw them to the
floor while Null just looked at her. There was surprise in his eyes, as this
wasn't something Sebille had done before.
She'd tried very hard to respect those damn papers of his..
|
"What's with you? Can't
you not think about your work all the time?"
|
" ..."
|
"Why? Why are you so
absorbed in your work? I thought you wanted to stop. I thought you would
eventually, but this is just getting worse. Why!?"
But Null didn't answer her.
|
And Sebille was in a wave
of fury, not thinking of being fair or mature. She raised her arm, ready to
give him a sting for being such an ignorant jerk.
|
But Null caught her hand
in mid-air. He'd never stopped her before.
|
"Ahh!"
Sebille caught a glance of his silver eyes before she was yanked back... |
...and onto the bed.
|
His hat fell off his head,
his hair fell forward to border his face and the necklace he always wore
fell down to point against Sebille's chest. How appropriate.
|
This was a position
Sebille knew very well. And it didn't worry her, for Null wasn't holding her
neck.
She still remembered the time he'd wrapped his long fingers around her neck
and hadn't let go. Just the memory brought shivers down her spine.
"Why?"
His voice was deep and dark. But he also winced momentarily and something in
Sebille's stomach bulged. once again.
|
He was hurt, wasn't he?
And so badly that he couldn't completely hide it from her.
"I do this because I have to."
|
"I do what I'm not allowed
to refuse. And I can't not do the hardest jobs they can muster for me."
Sebille gasped and spoke quietly; "They're trying to get you killed?"
Null's eyes were stone.
"I won't die."
|
Says he who keeps getting
hurt more and more often.
She now knew where his injury was this time, she'd seen these movements of
his before. She just hadn't realized what his subtle stiffness had meant
until now.
|
Sebille pulled her knee up
and pushed it against Null's lower stomach. He grunted but Sebille kept
pushing.
She was aware of the fact that she could do this only because Null let her.
He wouldn't budge even if he was mortally wounded, if he didn't want her to
move.
But she wasn't really thinking of that right now and pushed until he was, in
turn, on his back..
|
All sorts of emotions were
dwelling inside of her and she wasn't sure which ones to let surface.
She was angry, and the was sad.
"Won't die!?"
|
She was also worried and
irritated.
"You're not as invulnerable as you try to let me believe. You're hurt again.
You keep getting hurt. And god knows when you'll be hurt so bad that you
can't come back to me."
Man, she was so selfish wasn't she?
|
"And I never know where
you are."
He was calm, so irritatingly calm that Sebille (almost) snapped.
|
She turned around,
remembering the weapons on the table by his bed. She wasn't sure what she
would do, but Sebille needed to do something.
|
She pulled the sword out
of it's sheath, momentarily wondering what an odd-looking blade it had.
But her mind was too full of other things to care about some old sword right
now.
|
She pressed it against
Null's neck, and he was still the epitome of calm.
"Maybe... maybe I should just kill you here."
" ..."
"I wouldn't have to wonder where you are. I wouldn't have to worry. Worrying
drives me crazy"
Yes... it would be so easy.
|
"Could you? Could you have
my blood on your hands?"
"Yes. Stop doubting me!"
|
Yes... she could. She was
perfectly capable of it.
But she didn't want to.
|
Sebille let the sword
drop.
"I could..."
|
And bent down over him,
pressing her forehead against his, closing her eyes tightly.
She didn't want tears.
|